


Dearest Lena

by AiLaikHeda_OnMyBeda



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Did I Mention Angst?, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Eventual Smut, F/F, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Nerdy Kara Danvers, Romantic Fluff, Shy Kara Danvers, Slow Burn, Smut, Soulmates, SuperCorp, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2020-12-14 21:02:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21022226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AiLaikHeda_OnMyBeda/pseuds/AiLaikHeda_OnMyBeda
Summary: The one where Kara sends letters to Lena everyday for an entire summer, confessing her feelings, always hidden behind a single sign off, ‘an admirer.’When Lena confides in her one day at school, thats it, Kara knows she’s done for. Except, why would Lena think Kara, of all people, her dorky, uncoordinated and shy best friend could have such a way with words, let alone love her. They were best friends after all, just best friends.ORThe High School Love Letter AU





	1. Chapter 1

_Lena._

No, she couldn’t begin a letter with just ‘Lena.’ There was no spark, no intrigue with just a simple name, it was bland and dull with no depth of importance. She’s sure Lena knew her own her name too, and didn’t need reminding at the top of a letter. Of course she knew her own name. 

_To, Lena._

_No_ again. This was Lena Luthor she was writing to, not just another regular at her school, not just another generic family letter she was forced to write each year to each member of her estranged family, even though they _never_ wrote her back. Why would they?

_It is with great…_

_Definitely_ not. Who begins a letter as though they were addressing an auditorium of people anyway? That was possibly the most impersonal she could get on the spectrum of impersonal.

And why was this so hard? Why was she even doing this in the first place? Because she knew that there was no other way on earth she would ever have the courage to say what she wanted to say if she wasn’t hidden behind an anonymously printed letter, typed with Times New Roman font. Completely untraceable. A cowards move. An in love cowards move.

She would have stuck with Calibri, but Lena Luthor was a fancy kind of girl, and using the defaulted font setting on Microsoft word was definitely a turn off. Lena deserved better than that, besides, Calibri was just as bland as addressing the letter with ‘Lena’ at the top of the page.

She wished she wasn’t so scared and indecisive, this was the kind of thing she should be able to comfortably discuss, Lena would have it no other way. She was always accomodating of other people’s feelings, she was always open and the most honest student in the entire of Midvale High.

That’s why so many students alike adored her, what was not to adore?

Her smile, the way it infected you in the sweetest way possible, compelling you to succumb and admire everything else transcendent about Lena Luthor.

Her laugh, the way it could be heard from the other side of the school, the way it echoed through your heart and soul like a symphony on repeat, or one of Celine Dion’s greatest hits.

Those eyes, the way they captivated you, and drew you in like a romance novel you just couldn’t put down no matter how hard you tried, their depth unfathomable.

Hey, now those were _exactly_ the kind of things that might spice up this letter, exactly the kind of things which would ignite this anonymous, tell-all penpal ship she was hoping it might become. One where she could still tell Lena how she felt, even if it wasn’t in the way she wanted, even if Lena never found out it was her.

Something was better than nothing she supposed.

_Dearest Lena,_

Yes. Now that could work, that could definitely, _definitely_ work.

* * *

School.

More accurately, High School.

Who invented the bloody thing anyways? Someone who probably never experienced the word in the flesh. If Lena had it any other way, she would be back sailing around the Pacific Islands with her family, sneaking mimosa’s and cocktails from her mother’s endless bar tab like there was no tomorrow, scowling at the passengers who eyed her with scrutiny a little too closely for her liking.

Although, no one in their right mind would think about touching or confronting Lena Luthor on the cruise they were on. Her mother, Lillian, would tear them apart with her gaze alone, ever the ferocious mamma bear.

“We’re not in America anymore, grandma,” Lena would tell them, causing the middle aged house trophies to scoff and stomp away in distaste at the audacity of some eighteen year old, well, _almost_ eighteen year old.

They probably went back to their husbands, twenty years their senior, complaining about some incredibly rude and naive child. That seemed to be a common sighting among the ship passengers and their partners, one old enough to be either Lena’s deceased grandma or grandpa, strapped to an energetic little house trophy or a handsome little boy toy.

It was endlessly amusing. Lena’s parents seemed about the only couple on the cruise who actually seemed like the legitimate couple, not a couple hidden behind a faux sense of love and adoration, masking a hidden agenda. After all, the whole reason Lena spent her summer on vacation was to celebrate her parent’s fortieth wedding anniversary.

An amazing feat, and Lena admired such a relationship tremendously. Nowadays when couples got married, they would be no less be divorced within their first five years. Her parents made marriage seem easy, as though it were a romantic walk along the beach, and not something as arduous and difficult like climbing a mountain.

Lena wished that kind of love for herself one day, a love that defied all others. A love kind of like the love you see in the movies, cheesy, corny, and every bit fulfilling and wholesome as the actors made it look, as her parents made it look.

Alas, she was only seventeen, and even though her parents wedded when they were a couple years older than Lena was now, she still had her entire life ahead of her, a life that awaited her the second she graduated and moved the hell out of Midvale for good.

That cute brunette she had met on the cruise was an enticing thought though, and she certainly had a way with her tongue that left Lena just… _Shivering_ and quivering.

Though, Lena was too preoccupied to even think about getting her number. But _she_ was the kind of woman Lena would go for. She was tall, with legs that went on for miles. She was stunningly gorgeous, like she was a walking and talking digital photoshop. She was funny, smart, and not at all conceited like ninety-nine percent of the population on the cruise ship with them.

She was romantic, and had a way with her tongue and hands that quite literally blew Lena out of the water. Lena would know, the pair had snuck down to the cruise ship pool one night for a secret little rendezvous.

In fact, the only disappointing thing Lena could conjure about the brunette beauty was the fact that she was a freshman in college, attending a university across the country. That, and Lena didn’t get her phone number.

However, none of that seemed to matter, and her disappointment seemed inconsequential when she was engulfed within the radiant sunshine that was her best friend, Kara Danvers.

Lena loved goodbyes, especially her goodbye’s with Kara, because it only made their 'hello’s' all the more sweeter, all the more cuddlier, and all the more snugglier, and Lena would never in a million years pass up an evening of cuddles, ice-cream and movies with Kara Danvers.

Her best friend was quite the little koala, and those small grabby hands she made each time Lena would peel herself away for the bathroom made her heart explode in her chest. And that’s how she spent her final night before the beginning of their senior year, wrapped up in the arms and legs of her best friend, watching ice-cream and eating movies to her heart’s content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I know I have so many unfinished works but this idea just came to me to I had to write something before it went by the way side. Not intending this to be a massive fiction, but will be multichaptered.
> 
> Here's a short opener/teaser/preview. Please let me know what you think - I would love to continue this story but life is pretty hectic so I only have spare time to devote to work people will enjoy! So please let me know if I should continue! (Tags will be added and the opening chapter may be edited slightly if I do!)
> 
> P.S. those who know my work know that when I write a chapter update, I write an entire novel :p and if the description is a little confusing, I will be jumping a bit between past (where Kara writes the letter), and present (high-school setting).


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth was, this was something that had been building and building inside of her, evolving in itself to the point where Kara was bursting at the seams, and she had no idea what to do with her feelings, how to express her feelings, or why out of everyone, it was Lena she felt them for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
So as it turns out, I will be continuing this fiction. I’m not sure how I’ll go about the layout of making it clear when it’s a snippet from the past where Kara is writing the letters. Hopefully it should be obvious. If it’s not - please just ask if you’re unsure or confused. I think I’ll just leave a small note at the top of the chapter so people don’t get lost! But here’s an official opener to set the background for the story :) 
> 
> WARNING: there are some dark and sensitive family themes mentioned in this chapter. This is just to set the background and introduce this version of Kara, and set her aside from the bubbly ray of sunshine we know her to be in many fictions.

It had been a few days since Lena had left, a few days since Kara had helped Lena pack her bags for their summer long family cruise that was to set sail around the pacific islands. Lena had asked Kara, of course, many times over if she wanted to go with them. Even though Luthor family vacations with the addition of Kara weren’t uncommon, Kara never wanted to be a burden to the Luthor family, even though they were as accomodating as Kara’s adoptive family.

Kara liked to think that the Luthor’s were her second family, her home away from from. They were certainly better role models than the corrupt family Kara had been born into nearly eighteen years ago.

But that was Kara’s decision to leave her biological family, and a different story altogether, one that Kara never liked to relive and retell. She was just thankful that she hadn’t spent the rest of her teenage years living in the foster system, and that the Danvers family had welcomed her in with opened arms and provided her the childhood she should have received in the first place.

Lillian Luthor had even assured Kara that there was a room in the Luthor mansion with her name on it, should she ever need one, being such close family friends of the Danvers family. Kara, of course, had taken much pleasure in spending many summers camped out by Lena’s luxurious pool, and in her queen sized bed.

She loved her home with the Danvers without question. It was warm, vibrant, and every bit domestic for the perfect little family. It’s just, there was no Lena. Alex was great, she was the best big sister Kara could ever ask for, despite their rocky start, but she wasn’t Lena, no matter how many times she had donned her jet black wig in favour of teasing Kara.

This, however, was a summer vacation that Kara could not and would not intrude upon, no matter how convincing Lena’s puppy eyes and Lillian’s kind words were. Because this was the summer that Lena’s older brother had ventured home from his worldy travels to spend time with his family.

Kara couldn’t even begin to count on all twenty extremities on all four limbs how many times that Lena had declared she missed her brother, and she doubted that Lena could count on all forty of their extremities on all eight of their limbs combined.

This was a special summer for the Luthor family, and a summer that Kara was adamant should be spent with just their family, family friends excluded. And she had missed Lena, more than what would be considered normal for just friends, and she regretted her decision to stay in Midvale the second Lena’s car pulled out of their driveway.

The down time over summer had given Kara some perspective, some much needed perspective, and some much needed clarity regarding certain feelings she had towards her best friend.

Kara was _never_ one to be cliche, she absolutely hated cliche’s. Although one cliche in particular, for the life of her, Kara could never come to hate.

It had been two days since Lena had left Midvale for her summer vacation, and it had been two days since Kara had sat staring a blank document, wondering how she could even begin to express the thoughts and feelings which had left her to become the biggest cliche of all time.

Even her sister Alex would laugh at her if Kara told her, though Kara suspects Alex might have some inkling, if her consistent teasing was anything to go by, exactly why Kara never openly admitted anything in the first place.

What exactly was there to admit? Even Kara wasn’t sure entirely what she felt most days, only that it was raw, that it was real, and that it was overpowering sometimes. Kara had never experienced ‘love’ before, but the feelings she had for Lena, it’s what she perceived love to feel like.

Even her friends would tease her if they knew, which was exactly why Kara told no one, not even Lena. If Lena couldn’t know, why should anyone else? It felt almost like a betrayal for something so personal and so sacred to be shared with or known first by someone who wasn’t Lena, instead by someone who had no relevance whatsoever.

Kara always imagined that one day she might find the courage to talk to Lena, to play it off like some silly high-school crush, or some bi-curious phase that just miraculously appeared over night. From what Kara had heard, all the straight girls at Midvale high had experienced their bi-curious stage at some point or another.

But the truth was, this wasn’t the kind of thing that just happened over night, it wasn’t the kind of thing that just appeared from thin air, startling Kara from her daily duties like some gigantic spider on the wall that wasn’t there one second, but was there the next.

That may be a little bit of an exaggeration, but the truth was, this was something that had been building and building inside of her, evolving in itself to the point where Kara was bursting at the seams, and she had no idea what to do with her feelings, how to express her feelings, or why out of everyone, it was Lena she felt them for.

Because that was the kind of thing that could ruin a friendship. Kara had seen it first hand between two of her closest friends, James and Lucy. The pair had known each other since pre-school, that constant feeling of ‘could there be something more’ just lingering and looming over them until they finally decided to take the plunge.

Needless to say, group get-togethers had become considerably awkward, and the pair couldn’t even bare to be in the same room as one another. That was saying something, and if it happened between Kara and Lena, Kara wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to get over it, and she would sit there for years, sulking in misery, blaming herself over and over for destroying the most important relationship she had.

Again, that was a little bit of an exaggeration, Kara always was one to be melodramatic. She was “histrionic,” as Lena like to call her. She presumed it was all those musical theatre movies she loved to watch that were finally rubbing off on her, and the fact that Kara herself was a theatre major. But Kara would gladly be anyone or anything for Lena, if it meant Lena kept her, and if it meant she could keep Lena, she just never told Lena that.

Like James and Lucy, their friendship and these ‘feelings’ first started in pre-school. Of course they did, where else would they have started in this whole cliche of a cliche? Although back then, Kara came from a completely different family and a completely different world than she did now, and she wondered if whether she had come from the Danvers all along, would her relationship with Lena be any different? Would she have even met Lena at all?

If there was one thing Kara could thank her biological parents for, it was their actions which indirectly lead to Kara meeting Lena, because now that she had, Kara couldn’t imagine a world without the girl.

Kara was just minding her own business, playing with the knitted dolls from the toy box one morning while her mother was having a meeting with some of the pre-school carers. She could tell by the expression on her mother’s face that she had said something wrong, that she had done something wrong, she always did, and she knew she would pay for it when she came home later that day.

She tried to focus on the dolls, on the little boys running rampant around her, making all that noise over a stupid plastic fire engine that lit up and had a little siren. But it became increasingly difficult when she could practically see the fury radiating from her mother’s body, when she could feel the burn from her penetrating glare.

She wished she was better, she wished her mother wasn’t always so angry and so strict on her, she wished she could make her mother happy, like her cousin Kal did. He was always the favourite, and it had been that way since Kara and her parents moved in with her extended family, her aunt and uncle, and their son Kal.

He was the golden boy, with anything and everything he did being praised and worshipped like he was an Angel sent from heaven. Kara tried to tell her mother that he wasn’t, that he was in fact mean, that he yelled at her, and gave her bruises when she yelled back.

But her mother would always brush her claims away, always believing the golden boy and never her own flesh and blood. So Kara sat there, wishing to be like her cousin, wishing to be loved like he was, but mostly, wishing for a saviour, an Angel of her own to protect her.

Apparently someone up in the clouds must have heard her, and her Angel came in the form of one of the most beautiful, _no_, the _most_ beautiful little human Kara had ever seen, enough that for over two weeks, Kara was convinced she really was sent from above, until this little human, Lena, fell over and grazed her knee one day on the playground.

Now, Kara knew that Angels were invincible, and Angels didn’t get grazes or bleed, but in that moment, she thought that Angels really should. She stood there in front of Kara that morning, directly in front of Kara’s line of view to her mother, her little green dress and jet black pig tails blowing with the draft. And she looked at Kara, with green beady eyes and asked, “can I play?”

And who was Kara to resist? Kara had never really had friends before, not as a toddler, and never in pre-school. When she tried looking back on baby photos and birthday celebrations, her search was over before it even started.

The kids at pre-school never spoke with her, never asked her to play, and Kara was too afraid to ask herself, too afraid that her mother might find out, or worse, that Kal would find out. For some reason, this made Lena want to be Kara’s friend even more than she did before, and when Kara finally told her, “I’m not allowed to have friends. My family don’t like ‘friends,’” Lena responded simply with, “don’t tell them. It can be our little secret.”

And in that moment, Kara had never felt more safe in her life. Of course, back then, the depth of what Kara was saying and the dark reality of her situation wasn’t known by Lena or her family, and if it wasn’t for a little comment Lena made to her parents one night about her best friend Kara who couldn’t have friends because her family would hurt her, Kara had no idea where she might be today.

Lena had saved her in more ways than one over the years, she had been a shoulder to cry on when Kara’s bruises hurt because Kal had become bigger and stronger. She had been the warm and comforting embrace that Kara had needed every single day, that her parents failed to provide.

She had been the backbone that held Kara together throughout the darkest years of her life. She had been the laughter and the happiness when Kara was still learning that it’s okay to be happy, that it’s okay to be loud and laugh the night away because she was finally safe from _everything_ and _everyone_ that could hurt her.

She was the love that Kara so desperately wanted, so desperately needed, and so desperately felt. She was the hope, the strength, and she was anything and everything that Kara needed her to be and more. Kara wished more than anything that Lena knew how much Kara thanked her, how much Kara loved her for saving her, and how _in love_ she had become with everything and anything that was Lena Luthor.

And she wished more than anything that she had the courage to tell Lena all these things, to tell her exactly how she felt, but she couldn’t, until an idea of brilliance struck her. Maybe Kara Danvers couldn’t tell Lena Luthor how she felt, but that didn’t mean Lena Luthor still couldn’t know, it didn’t mean she still couldn’t tell Lena, just not as Kara Danvers.

* * *

There was just something so magical about waking up in the morning to the sound of water, to the sound of waves crashing against the cabin, to the salty and dry smell of the ocean, and the gentle rock of the ship.

Only this time, the rocking quickly became violent and aggressive, and the sound of waves quickly drowned away beneath the call of her name in varying tones of annoyance, anger and distress.

She quickly realised that she wasn’t on the cruise anymore enjoying her summer vacation. Instead, she groggily opened her eyes, taking in the view which certainly wasn’t her cabin balcony and the pristine waters of French Polynesia, though this view certainly rivalled it.

Kara sat there, mere inches away from her face, hovering over Lena’s body while she nervously chewed on her bottom lip. “We overslept, Lena,” she said sternly, shaking Lena even more to proper consciousness.

Lena mumbled, rolling to her side to take in the glowing pearl block numbers on her alarm clock. She must have forgotten to set the alarm before she fell asleep last night, because “overslept,” was an understatement.

“_Shit!_” Lena cursed under her breath, ripping back the covers so they flung over her best friend’s seated body.

“_Shit!_” Lena cursed again in a frenzy, immediately moving to remove the covers from Kara who seemed to be in a petrified panic.

Lena began racing around her room, picking up stray popcorn pieces and stacking the dishes they had used the night before while watching movies. “_Come on_, Kara, we need to get moving right now if we want to make it before first bell,” Lena urged, whipping open her cupboard to select her outfit for the day.

Kara glanced at her in terror. “We overslept… and I won’t have time to go home, get changed and get to school before the first bell. Ms. Grant is going to kill me, Lena, _she is going to kill me!_”

Lena rolled her eyes at her best friend’s dramatics. “Just wear something of mine, it’s not like you haven’t done that before,” Lena suggested, casually lifting her sleep top and dropping her sleep shorts from her body.

It wasn’t out of character for either girl to change in front of one another, although each time it was Lena, she seemed to miss the way Kara blushed a crimson red, the way Kara’s eyes strained on her body, unsure of where to look, or her sharp in take of breath and her nervous fidgets.

It was the little things that Lena was oblivious to most of the time, like the way Kara eyed her too long with jealousy whenever she became flirty or overly friendly with another person, especially that basketball captain Jack Spheer, the only boy Lena could tolerate. Like the the way Kara ducked her head and adjusted her glasses each time she told Lena she looked beautiful whenever Lena was unsure about her outfit. Like the way Kara held her a bit too long during their cuddles. Like the way Kara defended her at all costs, even when it came to Alex, and Lena knew just how close the two sisters were.

Lena continued dressing, shimmying her way into a pair of black skinny jeans while Kara sat there frozen like a statue. Annoyed, Lena absentmindedly reached for her floral summer skirt, the one Kara adored, and hurled it towards Kara’s face, knocking her out of her Lena induced trance.

“Sorry,” Kara mumbled, and began sheepishly changing as quickly as her limbs would allow her, changing into anything Lena hurled at her from across the room.

Lena tried not to feel guilty, since she was the one who hit Kara square in the face with her floral summer skirt, but Kara’s daydreams, or wherever it was she spaced out to had been becoming increasingly more frequent.

She wondered where Kara went, or what she thought about when she spaced out. She hoped it wasn’t anywhere harrowing, like the brutal past Kara had come from, but this wasn’t the time nor the place to worry when the deadline for the morning bell and Ms. Grant’s wrath was looming over them.

“Can you get our bags ready?” Lena asked, just as Kara was slipping her white top over her head, only for it to get caught around the rim of her glasses.

Lena chuckled, then skipped over to help Kara, pulling her shirt down and adjusting Kara’s glasses before Kara could herself. “There, beautiful,” Lena said warmly, and Kara blushed a crimson red again.

“I’m just going downstairs to fix our lunch, so if you could pack our bags, that would be great,” Lena continued, paying no mind to Kara’s blushing figure, knowing full well that the last time Kara decided to prepare their lunch, it had been an utter disaster.

Lena skipped downstairs, eyeing the clock on the wall as she went, watching the tick of the hand, signifying they were a minute closer to one of Ms. Grant’s scoldings for being late.

“Shouldn’t you have left for school already?” Lena’s mother called from the dining room table, as her figure skidded past on the wooden floor boards. “It’s your first day of senior year, you and Kara best get moving.”

Lena skidded to a halt, turning around to greet her mother with a good morning kiss when she was bombarded with a stack of envelopes and letters adorning the dining room table. “Yeah, we were just getting ready. What’s all this?” Lena asked curiously, eyeing the amass of envelopes.

“_These_ are a summer’s worth of unanswered business letters,” Lillian said with distaste.

Lena snorted. “What, the internet and email don’t exist in the corporate world?”

“Apparently not,” Lillian sighed. “Before you go, these are for you,” Lillian gestured towards a stack of envelopes on the far end of the table.

“For me?” Lena questioned, walking around to pick the stack up. “From who?” She asked in a mischievous tone, immediately thinking about the gorgeous brunette she met on her summer cruise.

Her mother shook her head and shrugged. “There’s no return address on them, just your name. Now get a move on before I receive a disgruntled phone call from Principal Grant on your first day of school. Take some money from my purse to buy your lunch on the way out, my purse is on the table by the door,” her mother dismissed, and Lena knew better than to interrupt her mother further while she was swarmed in business affairs.

Her heart sank in her chest momentarily, at the thought of the brunette from the cruise. Maybe her mother or father could pull a few strings and get the names of the passengers from the cruise so Lena might finally have a lead on the girl apart from just, “Sam.”

She’d ask Kara to help her on a cyber stalking mission, but Kara always seemed to get a forlorn and downcast look in her eyes when it came to relationships and romance, especially when Lena spoke so openly about hers. It was no secret that Lena Luthor was well sought after at Midvale High, and she had dated her fair share of boys and girls, with barely any making it past the three month mark.

So, she decided not mention the brunette just yet. That would be her goal for the year, she thought, to help Kara find herself a lovely boyfriend who would look after her so she didn't always feel as alone as she looked. Now that was a mission worth accomplishing.

Lena bounded up the stairs, skipping them two by two as she went, the stack of letters tucked securely underneath her arm. By the time she reached her room, two bags were neatly rested atop her desk and Kara was hunched over, tying her shoe laces, her eyes averting upwards the second Lena’s presence appeared.

“What’s that?” She asked, referring to the letters tucked underneath Lena’s arm.

“I don’t know,” Lena shrugged, placing the stack on her desk. “They came over summer while I was away. Maybe I have a secret admirer,” she joked, and again, missed the way Kara turned a crimson red.

“O-oh,” Kara stuttered, in a voice uncharacteristically higher than usual. “That’s um- cool. Good for you. We should really get going now,” Kara mumbled, pushing Lena towards the door, both bags straps in her hand.

That was strange, even for Kara that was strange. Probably just first day jitters Lena presumed. They made it just in time before the first bell, but that wasn’t enough to save them from one of Ms. Grant’s lectures, something about how senior students are the role models of the school, and should set the example for the younger students so they don’t get the wrong ideas.

Lena internally groaned. They weren’t even late. They were on time, _exactly_ on time. A minute more and they would have been late, but they weren’t. Sometimes she wondered about her Principal's sanity. Her period one AP Physics class was much better with Mr. Henshaw, and at least she knew one person in the class who wasn’t a _total_ moron.

Winn Schott may have been a little bit of a moron, being a five year old trapped inside an eighteen year old’s body, but he certainly new his way around vectors, linear expansion and uniform circular motion, unlike most students who struggled to grasp those concepts during junior physics class.

However, a good scolding from Ms. Grant wasn’t enough to deter Lena’s intrigue from the stack of letters she had received over summer. All day she wondered, who were they from? What did they say? Why were they sent?

When her friends asked her at lunch time how her summer had gone and if anything exciting happened, she had told them the truth, sparing no detail that the cruise was by far the best summer holiday she had ever experienced, that there was even a beautiful brunette she had connected with.

By that point, Kara had excused herself to the bathroom, and when her friends asked her if there was anything else before Lena could go check on Kara, she shook her head, refraining from telling them anything regarding the mysterious stack of letters that had arrived in her mail once she arrived home.

For all she knew, it could have been one of her friends playing a prank of her. Either way, she was determined to find out what they said and who sent them as soon as she got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou all for your support so far. Please feel free to let me know if there is any plot line you want me to explore - I’m just kind of making this up as I go tbh and I don’t want to fail anyone’s expectations for the story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were at least twenty letters in the pile, judging by how many envelopes were there, so the person who sent them clearly spent their entire summer writing them, or at least a considerable amount of time. But why? And who sent them?

Two days it had been since Lena had left Midvale for her family cruise. By now, she was probably… somewhere, floating about the ocean like Rose on the Titanic. Kara wasn’t sure, she only hoped that Lena didn’t find her ‘Jack’ aboard the cruise.

She’d find out soon enough where Lena was when her cruise docked by an island port for a day, allowing her a reception signal on her phone to send Kara off a text.

It hadn’t been the longest time Kara had spent out of contact with Lena, not by long shot. Realistically, forty-eight hours wasn’t much at all, but to Kara, each of those hours felt more like an eternity.

So much could go wrong out in the open ocean, a tsunami, a rogue wave, an ice-berg, a pirate attack, an alien abduction - because those things usually do happen when the wide world isn’t around to see them (according to reports Kara’s read anyway).

So many things could go wrong and Kara wouldn’t know, couldn’t know because there was no possible way to contact Lena until she found herself a reception signal. Maybe it was best that Kara didn’t spend her entire summer locked away in her room with nothing but her thoughts.

Perhaps taking up James Olsen and his offer for ice-cream and ice-skating wasn’t such a bad idea, particularly the ice-cream part.

The longest time Kara had spent out of contact with Lena was when she was finally removed from her biological family and placed in the foster care system.

It took weeks and weeks before Kara was able to have just a short phone call with Lena, a phone call letting her best friend know that she was okay and that she was safe. Again, Kara never liked to relive and retell the past, it only caused her pain.

All that mattered since that moment was that Lena promised her she wouldn’t _ever_ have to spend that long on her own again. And Lena had kept her promise, even when she left the country on extravagant holidays with her family, she called Kara and texted Kara every chance she got.

And since that moment, Kara had never felt alone, even if Lena wasn’t there by her side, it was Lena’s promise to her which kept her company when Lena physically couldn’t, and as much as Kara adored all her friends, Lena’s promise to her was more appealing than spending an afternoon with James Olsen.

But the ice-cream… . After waiting by her phone all day, Kara decided to take James up on his offer - only for the ice-cream, so Kara wouldn’t go insane over this eternity of a summer it was setting out to be.

James was nice enough. He was tall, charming, he made Kara laugh, he had one of the biggest smiles Kara had ever seen her in life, but the fact still stood, he wasn’t Lena. And he wore too much cologne sometimes, or not enough, and the concept of personal space seemed alien to him.

He also chewed obnoxiously loud, and asked for a cereal topping on his ice-cream. _Cereal topping _of all things, something which should never ever, _ever_ be paired with ice-cream, not in Kara’s lengthy list of the ‘do’s and don’ts’ of food.

That, combined with the fact that he dated one of Kara’s best friends, and Kara wasn’t even sure whether or not she liked boys in more than just a platonic sense, left Kara with pretty much zero inclination to accept a second date with James.

“How was it?” Alex had asked before Kara could even cross threshold of her house. “_Well?_” She prompted expectantly, her girlfriend Bryttany with a ‘y’ and not with an ‘i’ sitting comfortably on her lap.

Kara shrugged off her cardigan, folding it neatly on the couch.

“_Kara_,” Alex pressed in warning.

Kara chose to ignore her still, giving Alex _the look_, the look which said she wasn’t going to talk about her date with James or anything else while Bryttany with a ‘y’ was around. Kara liked Alex’s first girlfriend, she preferred Alex’s first girlfriend Maggie.

She was a ruthless little spitfire when she wanted to be, and became as soft as silk when it was just Alex and Kara. They had dated for two years before Maggie left Midvale for a college across the country.

Since then, Alex had been occupying herself with pretty much anything that walked and talked. Her latest distraction was none other than the perky blonde who was sitting on her lap, staring at Kara like she was actually part of their sisterly relationship, and not just some fling Alex would soon get tired of.

Kara missed Maggie.

Whether Alex saw the look and was simply dismissing it, or genuinely didn’t notice it at all, Kara wasn’t sure. “Kara, if I have to ask again, so help me,” Alex threatened, casually pushing Bryttany from her lap.

The perky blonde gasped, but neither sister paid her attention.

“It was fine. I’ll tell you about it later. Gotta go, homework,” Kara dismissed, already reaching for the stair case railing.

Alex sat up on her knees, calling over the couch. “It’s summer, Kara, you don’t have homework.”

Kara ignored her, continuing her ascent of the stairs, ignoring the loud stomping which meant Alex had left the couch and was following her. She turned slowly once the stomping subsided, catching Alex staring up at her with a mischievous glint in her eyes from the bottom of the stair case.

“What?” Kara asked unsurely.

“Lena texted.”

Kara’s eyes went wide with delight, nearly bulging from their sockets as her grip on the railing turned an icy white. “She texted? Wait… how do _you_ know she texted?”

Alex shrugged indifferently. “I got bored, so I went snooping in your room.”

“Bryttany with a ‘y’ not cutting it for you anymore?” Kara teased mercilessly, cocking her hip.

Alex shot her a glare, and if looks could kill, Kara’s sure she’d be a corpse.

“Just go,” Alex groaned defensively. “Don’t leave your girlfriend hanging.”

True to her word, once Kara unlocked her phone after sprinting into her room like the road runner himself, she found one missed call, one missed text message and two attachments.Of course Lena would find reception within the only two hour block of the forty eight hours Kara hadn’t been hovering around her phone.

She’d left her phone home on purpose, knowing that if she brought it with her, most of her attention would be on whether Lena had texted her or not. Kara may not like James like _that_, but he was still her friend, and Kara knew he deserved more than to be disregarded and ignored on a date, their last date, the only date Kara would ever have with him.

_‘Hey sunshine!’_

The text read, and Kara could already feel her heart beat in her throat.

_‘Tried calling, you must be a busy bee somewhere. About to head out of range again until tomorrow evening when we dock at our next port. I saw this baby sea turtle today. He reminded me of you. He was just floating in the shallow waters off the island, but he had this big blue spot on his shell. Never seen anything like it before, but it reminded me of you._

_Love you, and miss you like crazy. Four weeks and five more days until I’m home. Don’t do anything stupid until I’m back, I like my Kara in one piece. Be safe xx.’_

Kara tried not to let the way Lena had called her “my kara” effect her so much. Sure enough, attached was a blurry photo of a baby sea turtle who had a large blue spot on the back of it’s shell. The next photo was a selfie of Lena, pulling possibly the craziest, wildest, and most adorably warming photo Kara had ever seen.

Her mouth was open in a kind of roar, with little creases fanning around her squinty eyes. The sun was obviously behind her, giving her this angelic halo appearance around the cascade of her raven coloured hair.

It wasn’t possible, but it happened, Kara fell harder for Lena in that moment than she ever had before. It wasn’t just a crush, or some fleeting feeling that would inevitably pass by, something for Kara to laugh about later.

No, it was a full body, from the tips of her hair to the tips of her toes, all encompassing and possessing feeling of complete adoration, affection and _love_. There wasn’t a single thing about this girl that she didn’t love.

It was overwhelming in every sense. It was like drowning and being revived all at once. It was liberating and empowering, and Kara only wanted more, she wanted _Lena_. But she could never have Lena, not without destroying what she already had, and that was too high of a price to pay on a risk.

First and foremost, Lena was her friend, and Lena had been her friend for years, even if every time Kara hugged her, she hugged her a little too long, hoping Lena wouldn’t let her go. Even if every time Kara said she loved her, she really meant it, not just in a casual display of affectionate friendship.

Even if every time Lena said she loved her back, it made Kara’s heart flutter like it was replaced with a thousand butterflies. Even if Lena never found out, Kara loved Lena Luthor.

Maybe all hope wasn’t lost. Kara Danvers couldn’t love Lena Luthor, that would destroy everything that they were, Lena would never look at her the same way again. But it didn’t mean Lena couldn’t be loved, it didn’t mean Lena couldn’t know how Kara truly felt, she just wouldn’t tell Lena.

She sat staring at her computer screen, letter her finger tips glide over the keyboard with precision and ease, falling over every letter and every word that would help her in telling Lena how she truly felt.

_Dearest Lena,_

_I can’t tell you how long I’ve sat staring at an open computer screen, waiting for the right words to come to me, the words that describe how I feel about you._

_It should be easy to tell you, but it’s not, nothing I feel about you is easy or sensical. It’s the most nonsensical thing, but it’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt, and I have to tell you, at least once how I truly feel._

_I understand this may be confusing to you at first, but I hope by the end of the summer, when I’ve finished all I’ve had to say and you’ve eventually read my letters, it will start to make sense._

_Perhaps it’s better this way, perhaps it’s better there’s no name or face behind this letter. I wouldn’t want you to look at me differently, to see me differently, to feel differently about me. None of this is about me, it’s about you, how I feel about you, and how I’ve felt about you for a very long time._

_You once made me a promise, so this is my promise to you. Everyday for the rest of summer, I will write you letter, a letter about how much you mean to me and how much you have changed my life for the better._

_You won’t know who I am, and please don’t try to find out, it’s better this way. But if I can somehow change your life with these letters, so you know just how special and important you are, then that’s my promise fulfilled. I owe you at least that much._

_Until next letter._

_Yours Sincerely._

Two days it had been since Lena had left Midvale for her family cruise, but two minutes was all it took for Kara to pour her soul into a letter, the first letter she would send to Lena. Lena wouldn’t ever have to find out who wrote them, it didn’t matter to Kara, as long as Lena knew that she was whole-heartedly and irrevocably loved, even if it was by a faceless and nameless stranger.

* * *

Kara was acting strange, she had been acting strange all day. From the moment they woke up overslept this morning, Kara was acting strange.

Whether it was the threat of Mrs. Grant, her weird and rushed behaviour when Lena returned to her room with a stack of letters under her arm, her suddenly leaving the table all quiet and mopey at lunch, or her avoidance of Lena that afternoon when she barely even said goodbye, instead choosing to yell a quick “see you tomorrow” over her shoulder as she submerged herself in a sea of students while Lena was trying to catch her.

Kara Danvers was acting strange, adorable as always, but strange, stranger than usual, and the fact didn’t sit right with Lena. It couldn’t be the the school Lacrosse captain, Mike, who Lena heard promise he would ask Kara out once senior year began. Mike was still interstate at college tryouts, thankfully.

Lena knows she promised herself she would find Kara a nice somebody this year, someone who respected Kara and loved Kara as much as she did, and could be there for Kara when Lena couldn’t herself. But Mike was definitely on the bottom of that list.He may have been aesthetically pleasing to look at, but boyfriend material he was not.

It wasn’t James either, or her date/not-date with James (depending on who you ask). The pair were just as chummy as always before Kara abruptly left the cafeteria at lunch time. It also couldn’t have been _that_ time of the month either, Kara and Lena were synced after all, had been since puberty first graced them with it’s presence.

She racked her brain all afternoon, and yet, there was no conceivable explanation for Kara’s odd behaviour. Usually when Kara was having a bad day, Lena could pick it from a mile away, and she usually confided in Lena about it.

Today, however, Kara was a puzzle, a complete mystery, much like the stack of letters which still sat on Lena’s desk with nothing but her name in a neat, cursive penmanship, and a small number on the corner of the envelope.

Each envelope had a number, which seemed a little confusing at first, until Lena finished reading the first letter, signed off with an ‘until next letter. Yours sincerely.’ She read the letter for a second time, and a third, wondering what it meant.

There were at least twenty letters in the pile, judging by how many envelopes were there, so the person who sent them clearly spent their entire summer writing them, or at least a considerable amount of time. But why? And who sent them?

Lena turned the letter over, and over again, looking for a name, an initial, a small little picture, even a watermark, anything that could tell her who sent them. But there was nothing. The letter was as perplexing as the person who sent them, but Lena couldn’t deny the way her entire being warmed with delight after she read the letter the first time.

She wanted to know even more now who sent them, so she could hug them and say “thank you.” If anything, that first letter sounded like a declaration of some kind, and it was possibly the most romantic gesture Lena had ever encountered, much more could even think of. It was an old school kind of declaration, and Lena was _very_ old fashioned.

Had a single person really spent their entire summer writing letters of love to her? There was no mistaking they were definitely for her, the endearing little ‘Dearest Lena’ at the top of the letter well and truly meant they were for her, and the small scribe of her name on the front of each envelope _definitely_ meant they were for her.

While brilliant, Lena couldn’t even recognise the penmanship either.So that was a bust as well.

Kara, on the other hand, was good at these sorts of things, things such as cryptic crosswords and impossible puzzles. While Lena was the scientist of the pair, and worked by logic, Kara worked by creativity, and her brain wrapped around mysteries quicker than Lena’s ever could. She could probably muster about a hundred different ways of finding out who sent Lena the letters, none of which Lena would think of anytime soon.

But if Kara was ignoring her and acting strange for a reason, the last thing Lena wanted to do was make everything about herself, completely disregarding what might be affecting her friend.

She pulled out the next letter from the pile, the one with a small ‘two’ at the top of the envelope. Again, there was nothing but her name in neat penmanship across the front of the envelope. It was _very_ cryptic indeed.

Then she read the letter, a few times over to herself. This one was different, less of a cryptic introduction and more passionate. It spoke about the quilt of night, and how it reminded the person of Lena’s hair. Next it spoke about the green fields of the country side, and how they reminded the person of Lena’s eyes. Next it was the pristine glow of the snow during a winter wonderland, and how it reminded the person of Lena’s skin.

Any other instance of someone comparing Lena’s bodily parts would have left her riddled with fear, but her heart swelled even more with the shear adoration and passion behind the words. 

She hadn’t even noticed the small mist in her eyes until her brother barged into her room uninvited, muttering something about needing his scientific calculator back before he had a good look at Lena and plainly asked, “are you crying? Why are you crying? Who do I need to beat?”

Lena wiped furiously at her eyes, stumbling over her response. “Nothing, it’s no one.”

Her brother, Lex, looked unconvinced, and lingered still in Lena’s room with a scowl. “If anyone is hurting you, I swear-“

“And I thank you, dear brother,” Lena laughed heartily. “But really it’s okay. These are happy tears.”

“Happy tears?” Lex echoed, lingering by the door, scientific calculator in hand.

Lena nodded. “Happy tears.”

Lex finally relented and left, not before gesturing between himself and Lena with his pointer and middle finger, in a ‘I’m watching you’ kind of gesture. Lena chuckled to herself, more than glad that Lex had taken some time off from travelling to spend at home with his family.

She really did miss his goofy ass when he was gone, more than she would ever admit to him. She’s sure he knew it though, her tears of sadness were telling enough each time she had to say goodbye to him.

She sighed to herself, swivelling around to face her desk in her swivel chair. She carefully placed the first two letters back into their envelopes, tucking them neatly away into her bottom draw and out of sight, incase Lex came snooping again.

He was smart enough not to open anything unopened like the remaining stack of letters, but the open letters were a free-for-all in his mind. Lena shuffled through her nightly routine at a turtle’s pace, her mind completely engulfed by the mystery of the letters.

She did something that night she never usually did. She stood in front of her bathroom mirror, water droplets still trickling down over her porcelain skin. No, her snowy skin. Her hair, like the quilt of night, slicked back against her scalp, the ends of it just tickling her lumbar, and her eyes, greener than green like the fields of the country side staring back at her.

Lena never liked staring at herself, particularly when she was exposed and vulnerable. Even in the safety of her bathroom when it was just her and no one else, Lena never liked staring at herself. She never cared what other people thought, disguising her insecurity with an outward confidence, but she lacked the most important confidence of all, her inner confidence.

She never stared at herself for that reason, the same way she never stood on the scales. No matter what she saw, disappointment would always outweigh the beauty. But tonight, she looked, longer than she had ever looked before.

She marvelled at all the little things the person in the letter wrote, all the small things which spoke volumes in the fact that they hadn’t just glanced at Lena, but they had looked as well, and they had marvelled as well.

She continued looking, until the condensation on the mirror evaporated, and a small shiver overtook her body, and then she smiled to herself, feeling more inner confidence than she had ever felt.

She settled herself beneath her bed covers, pulling out her phone to send Kara off a short text.

‘Hey love. I missed you today… we should talk tomorrow, there’s something I want to show you. Sleep tight x.’

The messaged delivered, and Lena place her phone on charge for the night, knowing that Kara would be fast asleep by now. Just as the sleep was beginning to take over, Lena was awoke by the blinding glow of her phone.

Reaching for the device, she saw a reply back from Kara, a simple, ‘I missed you too. Sorry I was weird today. You can show me anything on one condition, I’m buying lunch. And cuddles, lots of cuddles. Then you can show me anything. Sleep well, Lee.’

Her messaged was followed by series of hearts and multiple food emojis. It was completely and utterly Kara, and completely and utterly adorable.

And for a moment, for the first moment since coming home that day, Lena had completely forgotten about the stack of letters on her desktop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this update took me so long. I was in the final stretch of my university degree and I am officially finished. After three long years I have finally finished. Next chapter will be a bit more bulkier - I just wanted to get something out for those who had been waiting.
> 
> I’m considering continuing kind of like this where I jump from the summer where Kara is writing, into the present where Lena is reading the letters and trying to find out who they’re from. Let me know if it’s confusing or doesn't make sense. I can always clarify times and adjust things if it’s hard to follow. :)
> 
> Constructive criticism appreciated :).
> 
> P.S. I try and catch all typos and errors, but I don't have a beta.


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